🌧? Why I miss my school so much?
Today, due to certain national events (nothing bad tho), I had to set foot in my elementary school after 12 years. Despite what happened back then I really loved my elementary school. In fact, it was a sort of comfort place for me. Maybe it is due to the fact that I spent 9 years there (elementary school last for 8 years plus 1 extra year if you count kindergarden). I don't know but I have a lot of good memories there. The type of memories that, aren't exactly about specific events, but about specifics feelings.
While I was there one idea crossed my mind. If I worked there? Of course not as a teacher (the child of a teacher never wants to become one) but as someone who work at the computer lab? I don't really know the name of that role in English but it's the person in charge of the library and the maintenance of the computers at the school. I remember back in the day when I was still a studen there I spent most of my time at the library and I happened to talk a lot with the guy in charge of the computers. I even knew the password of all the computers there so I could use them at any time I wanted. He even let me uses some laptops too.
Anyway, the idea of me having that role seemed pleasant. To work at that school, to be back at that school seemed like a good idea at that moment. Of course it was just a mere fantasy but it was a pleasant one.
After spending some time walking around the school and even go back home using the exact same route I used for more than 7 years I started to think about my old classmates and some of the fond memories I have with some of them. And then that pleasant feeling changed.
I felt... alone again. Sure, the idea of being back at the school was a good one but it was only me. I wasn't with my classmates or with my friends, It like only I came back but not them. Only I was stuck in the past while all of them continue with their lifes.
I didn't gor depressed by that thought but it make me wonder why exaclt I miss school so much. I don't have the same strong feelings about highschool or university, so why I have them for elementary school? Once again, maybe it's because I spent a lot of time there, literally years. Maybe because it was a important place where I developed, idk.
Sometimes I have that little fantasy where we have a reunion of ex classmates or something but, there no reason for that more than stupid fantasy of share some memories even if they aren't valuable at all.